Hate your dog?  Like crap?  Have $479.95 burning a hole in your pocket?  If you answered yes to these three questions, then have I got the product for you.  Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the 'Helmutt House':

"Finely constructed from the highest quality recycled plastic, this eyesore stunning piece of architecture will be the scourge envy of your entire trailer park neighborhood.  And your dog will love sleeping the day away in this God forsaken pet oven luxurious pet adobe."

Seriously, what were the fine folks at Helmutt House smoking when they decided to mass produce this thing?  It does not take an M.B.A. to spot the serious flaws of this product.  (1) Overpriced.  $479.95 for a 31" plastic helmet?  Hell, for that price you can buy five helmet-shaped grills.  (2) Impractical.  Not sure about your family pet, but my dog would murder me in my sleep if I made her while the day away in this thing.  Sure, the website claims that this also looks great in your 'mancave' or 'dorm room,' but wouldn't an actual Husker football helmet be cheaper, more practical, and significantly less creepy in such a setting?  (3) Flimsy.  The helmet (31" and all) weighs under 15 lbs.  Wow.  I would not be advertising that fact if I were Helmutt House.  This thing ought to outweigh a miniature poodle if it is to withstand your dog's wrath (and the urge or your neighbor's kids to bash it in like a mailbox).

Lest I be accused of unfairness, though, here is Helmutt House's own sales pitch.  (NOTE: Number of actual live dogs shown inside Helmutt House during video: one). . .

If you have not done so already, remember to become a fan of Double Extra Point on Facebook (link) by this Sunday to be automatically entered into a drawing for a set of Husker keychains.

Comments (5)

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written by Mr. Bump, December 02, 2009

Here's another dumb "fan" item...

http://www.capmyride.com

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written by G.F.W., December 02, 2009

Agreed. The "cap my ride" also sucks. But at least owning it won't put you on P.E.T.A.'s hit list.

Also, do you find it odd that both the Helmutt House and Cap My Ride are made in Missouri? Me neither...

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written by SammyVegas, December 02, 2009

You'll have even more to add to this post when the Husker dog snuggie finally hits the market - https://www.snuggiefordogs.com/flare/next

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written by Cephus, December 04, 2009

Yo son, why waste your time with retail when you can get this stuff on Ebay. (http://cgi.ebay.com/HUGE-Huske...m-Helmutt- House_W0QQitemZ400086373647QQcmdZViewItemQQptZUS_SM_Fan
_Shop?hash=item5d2701950f#ht_929wt_1167)
Half the price, and apparently this kid didn't even own a dog. Heard he's trying for a short-sale. Gotta get out before Barack forecloses on his dog home.

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reply this topic
written by HollyRutledge, July 25, 2010

Have no a lot of cash to buy a car? Do not worry, just because that is real to take the business loans to resolve such problems. Therefore get a short term loan to buy all you need.

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